


Penguin Meets Magpie

by ProxyZee



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Burglary, Cobblepot Manor, Crime, F/M, Flirting, Gotham, Teasing, Theft, buisness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 15:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20360758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProxyZee/pseuds/ProxyZee
Summary: Just a short story where Penguin and Magpie are introduced to each other.





	Penguin Meets Magpie

Oswald was beginning to regret giving his Kabuki guards the week off for their family visit in Japan. Then again, how could he have known someone was going to make a clatter here and a clatter there in his manor.  
  
Though he was dressed in his favorite, silk black robe with the white cotton-lined pajamas underneath, he still felt mostly naked, but that was only somewhat alleviated with his trusty gun umbrella. It had rarely failed him before, he just hoped it wasn’t one of the Bats. Sure, he could just show them his legitimate business documents (Not that he keeps the more private ones within Cobblepot Manor.) but they weren't always known for their flexibility.  
  
He enters the room he personally dubbed the “Treasure room”. Home to the Cobblepot family’s most prized heirlooms, jewels, and silver things. Gold was a little toot tacky to present for his tastes, but he understood it’s value enough to keep large quantities of it in other places. The room was kept locked with an eight-digit padlock as well as a master-grade lock if that failed. The operative word being was. He aims his umbrella up a little higher as he quietly growls to himself.  
  
“Blasted Catwoman!” he hissed to himself as he noted the fleeting silhouette on the illuminated wall of the treasure room. He noted the wavering light. Someone must have lit a candle.  
  
Gingerly, he walked into the room as quietly as his slippers would allow. He noticed the gleam in most of the jewels, silver, antiques, and bird related treasures were in their place. Though, he was certain some of them were not in their place.  
  
He narrowed his eyes when he noticed the large lit candle placed on the floor at the left side of the room. Its design was unusual. Very unusual. White at the top and black at the bottom. The white seemed to melt into the black in a spiral motion. Most striking was a dark blue father sticking upright at the top.  
  
That’s when he felt a breeze behind him. He turns around in alarm and shoots.  
  
Into the wall.  
  
He mutters as she hears a quiet, very feminine giggle echo in the room.  
  
“Who are you!? I demand you show yourself!?”  
  
A few heel clicks from his behind, and to the right, compel him to quickly spin to aim his umbrella into the dimly lit shadowy area of the room. He noticed a tall silhouette slowly approach him. He would never admit it, but he was starting to feel quite nervous.  
  
“Oh when it shines, I just feel mighty fine. Oh, such a gleam! I’m so very keen! To hold it all in my hands!”  
  
Her singing was impressive, but alarming for the context. Oswald made sure to stand guard. She’s trying to intimidate him. He’s not intending on letting it work.  
  
The heel clicks get a little under when she got closer. Her shadow stepped into the candlelight and a very tall, pale woman was revealed. So tall in fact, she may very well have been a foot taller than Oswald. Something he didn’t enjoy but was no stranger too.  
  
He soon realized that her skin was inhumanly pale and matched her very white hair perfectly. He wondered if she was an albino at first until he noticed the very different peach skin tone at the bottom of her neck. She must be wearing face paint.  
  
She wore black, tight clothes that seemed to glimmer in the candlelight. Latex he guessed. A corset, short shorts, and thigh-high stiletto-heeled boots. Looking at the heels, he wondered how he hadn’t heard her earlier.  
  
Then he looked up to see the choker around her neck, and the dark red, shades over her eyes. Then he saw what was perhaps the most memorable thing about her other than the hair: the feather neck half ring that seemed to only cover the back of her neck. He noted that they were black too. So, likely not wherever the blue feather in the candle came from.  
  
“Whoever you are, you’re trespassing.”  
  
“How astute,” she said with a teasing grin. She holds a hand up in the air. Her hand, as well as the other, were covered in arm length silk gloves with acrylic nails placed on top that seemed more like talons. Both of her arms were adorned with diamond, sapphire, emerald, silver, basically, a lot of necklaces. Her fingers were covered in ring after shining ring. Around her neck was a treasured Cobblepot heirloom, a very large necklace linked with platinum and holding a quite large, oval-shaped black gemstone.  
  
“I believe that those are mine.” he hissed. She smirked before girlishly twirling as she admired her necklace covered arm.  
  
“Are they? Then why aren’t you wearing ‘em?” she playfully asked.  
  
“I’m not one for that kind of style.” he said as she stopped her twirl. She pouts. As if she’s offering the shiny things sympathy.  
  
“They need the attention. If you won’t do that, then you don’t deserve them.”  
  
Oswald was now beginning to wonder if she recently escaped from Arkham.  
  
“Don’t be preposterous! They’re objects. Things. Valuable things. Very valuable in fact. But things.”  
  
“Are they? Don’t you see the way they speak to you when they shine? Tempting you? Seducing you? Making your heart race? Mine feels like it’s gonna burst out of my chest. Must be all the adrenaline.”  
  
She brings an arm closer to her face.  
  
“Or maybe it’s you, naughty boys.”  
  
Penguin raises his head a little, and quickly adjusts his monocle with one hand before putt in it back on the umbrella. Quite a strange woman indeed. He felt like pinching himself.  
  
“I don’t care for your attachments. I care they are mine, and you’re stealing from me. I take it you don’t know who I am? Otherwise, you wouldn’t have made such a foolish mistake.”  
  
“Foolish mistake? Like what the Catwoman does? All the time?”  
  
Penguin suddenly felt a small burst of fury.  
  
“Not all the time! Her last attempt, and I mean attempt, was a few months ago!”  
  
Magpie holds her hands up as she puffs her cheeks a little in mock surprise.  
  
“Whoa, relax little birdie. No need to ruffle your feathers.”  
  
He rolled his eyes.  
  
“Catwoman, as infuriating as she can sometimes be was once a friend, and a professional. I don’t see much hope for an amateur like you.”  
  
She scoffs.  
  
“Amateur? I’ve come a long way from wearing a ski-mask or pantyhose over my head while stealing little else but cash and liberating only a few of the shiny preciouses while buying the rest. See this outfit? Made it myself.”  
  
Penguin couldn’t help but admire her perfect hourglass figure, and her athletically toned body. She wasn’t quite as muscular as Catwoman, but she certainly looked like she could outrun her.  
  
“Yes, I can see it very well, and it is quite flattering. For you anyway. Don’t expect charm to work on me, my dear.”  
  
“Why not? Isn’t that how you get all those women? Charm? Telling them how beautiful they are with that poet’s tongue of yours as you give them whatever they want?”  
  
Her voice gets steadily lower and huskier as she steps forward. A cautious Oswald steps back in tune with her own steps.  
  
“I bet your poet’s tongue’s been in a lot of places. Hasn’t it, Little Birdie?” she says breathlessly before making a kissing motion with her black-painted lips.  
  
“You seem to be mistaking charm for vulgarity.”  
  
“Is it working?” she asks with a smile.  
  
“Hardly.”  
  
“Then why are you blushing?”  
  
He now very much wanted to end this encounter.  
  
“Put those back or-”  
  
“Or what? You’ll shoot me? Why haven’t you done it yet? You like me?”  
  
“My dear, Oswald Cobblepot only mingles with “birds” that know class. That attire says otherwise.”  
  
“Ouch,” she said with a very exaggerated frown. “That kinda hurt.”  
  
Penguin cast a downward glance to her feet. Her heels are really starting to bother him.  
  
“You’re not an amateur you say? What kind of thief wears heels?”  
  
“I have a light step.” she declared before moving closer toward him. With no clicks this time.  
  
“Hardly impressive.”  
  
She frowns. With a little more anger this time. Oswald supposed she didn’t like a skill getting unappreciated.  
  
“Oh yeah?” she said before performing a sudden backflip. Then a somersault. Her landings were near silent thuds.  
  
Penguin began to have an idea.  
  
“Alright, my dear. You made your point. You’re good. Perhaps we could negotiate?”  
  
Her laugh comes from an unexpected place: the rafters. He looks above. With the tip of his umbrella now settle don the floor. If no longer appearing to be a threat would help in gaining a new employee with a lot of potential, then he was willing to take a risk.  
  
“Negotiate? You want me to work for you, birdman?”  
  
“I prefer the term with,” he claimed as he heard her heels click on the wooden beams. She sounded like she was running. He notices a shadow leap from a beam to the open, circular window above. Her dark form was somewhat illuminated by the candlelight. He could barely make out a smile on her face.  
  
“When and where?” she asked.  
  
Oswald smirked. This was turning out surprisingly well.  
  
“Laviachi’s Emporium. I want whatever is in the safe. Preferably, his transaction and business dealings.”  
  
“The boring stuff got it.”  
  
“Tomorrow. At midnight.”  
  
“And the shiny things?” She asked with barely suppressed excitement.  
  
“As much as you can carry. Help yourself to his profits too if you so wish.”  
  
“Sounds like a hot date,” she said.  
  
“I don’t believe I caught your name Ms?”  
  
“As far as your concerned, the name is Magpie.”  
  
She takes off her shades and reveals her eyes painted in eye black.  
  
“A girl’s gotta have a mask sometimes, ya know?” She said with a wink. Just before she turns, and leaves her perched position on the window ledge with a hop down.  
  
Oswald raises his hand.  
  
“Wait, you confounded old-”  
  
Too late. All he could see was the clear night sky.  
  
“I expect that necklace to be returned.” he quietly muttered to himself.


End file.
